Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Taking the Good with the Bad

I only blog about my ovarian cancer because who knows when someone that is fighting this other than me will find comfort in knowing they are not alone. It also serves as a sort of "journal" for me.

I belong to two special groups on Facebook, Teal Warriors and Teal Ladies and they have been a great comfort to me and they also have helped me in knowing what to expect and if what I am experiencing is normal. Such a wonderful group of ladies. Amazed at how many women out there are fighting this horrible cancer. I pray for them every day. If I haven't said it before, please get out there and get screened if you already haven't. Mine was found by another problem I was having...by the grace of God. Who knows where I would be right now had I not found it. As bad as the chemo is, I feel blessed that we have the medicines and procedures to at least try and fight cancer. Makes me glad I am living in these times!

The good news right now is that I still haven't been nauseated even one day after 21 chemo treatments. The good Lord above is looking out after me. Many prayers are being answered. The bad news right now is that my hair has been falling out majorly the last 5 days. My pillow is just covered every morning when I wake up and my housecoat which is black is covered as well. I am trying really hard to deal with it and not let it get me down too much. I was just hopeful that with only 6 treatments, I would hold on to what was growing back before my surgery. I was without chemo for two months and it was thickening nicely. Oh well...back to the beginning again. I still refuse to shave it all off.

I was in the waiting room at the hospital a few weeks ago where I get my labs done every week before chemo and it just clicked in my head one of the reasons if not the most important reason I am probably going through this. I go back and forth thinking there is a purpose for me getting ovarian cancer. One minute I think there is a purpose and the next I think there isn't one. I know, without a doubt, one of the reasons I am most probably going through this is that I needed to rely on my faith again. I never gave my faith much of a thought for many, many years. I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every time the doors were open, up until I left home at 20. I have always felt like I have lived the most blessed, wonderful life. Most always things were perfect. Oh, I have had my share of grief like anyone else but for the most part, life is good. Then when you hear the words "you have cancer" your world you once had ceases to exist. Right from the diagnosis, I have prayed and found the faith that this is in God's hands and he is going to take care of me. He is the only one that can let me live a much longer life or take me home. He has given me the strength I never knew I had. I have had several devastating events in my life where I found more and more strength. I should be Superwoman now I have so much strength! LOL I have swayed away from talking to him daily and praying and just being closer. Going through cancer can certainly wake you up and reel you back in. I get a comfort talking and praying to him that I know I'd never had if I didn't believe. Something just comes over me and calms my soul. I know that I'm not alone in this journey.

I have had a few days where I shed a few tears but not many. I have no reason to feel sorry for myself when there are kids out there that are fighting more things worse than I. I feel I have lived a full life at 59.

Well, I won't jabber on and on but just felt I needed to blog about my cancer today. I don't like to bring people down because I am the eternal optimist. Glass is always full. I embrace every day with gusto! Hope you do too! Hugs! For those of you fighting any health problem, I pray you too will find the strength and faith in God as I have. It sure helps!

No comments:

Post a Comment